Lower carb coffee cake

When it gets cold, and especially when it snows, I have a biological need to bake. This is at odds with my biological need to eat way less carbs so my pancreas isn't mad at me. I've spent this winter attempting to make a viable alternative to my sister's awesome coffee cake. Here's what I came up with. It's almost as good.

Cake Batter:
1 large, Egg
1/4 Cooking Oil
3/4 Cup Milk
2 tbsp Vanilla extract
1/3 cup Splenda for baking
3/4 cup AP Flour
3/4 cup Almond Flour
2 tsp Baking powder
1/2 tsp Salt

Streusel mix:
1/4 cup Splenda Brown Sugar Blend
2 tsp Cinnamon
2 tbsp Almond Flour
1 tsp Cooking Oil
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 375. Beat together egg and oil, then mix in milk, Splenda, and vanilla. Add to flour, almond flour, baking powder, and salt and stir until just mixed. In a second bowl, combine Splenda brown sugar, oil, cinnamon, almond flour, and pecans. Pour batter into lightly greased 9X9 pan. Sprinkle streusel mix over top. Bake for 25-30 minutes.

Adventures in Waffling

I've lived my whole life in houses without central air conditioning and the biggest drawback is that turning on the oven just isn't an option between Mother’s Day and Halloween. That means lazy vacation mornings in the summer can’t include whack and bake cinnamon rolls. Fortunately, the internet provided the solution; the humble waffle iron.  And so began my adventure...

Cinnamon Rolls

Ingredients

1 can of cinnamon rolls

How to Waffle It

Plug in your waffle iron (or turn it on if you have a fancy one with switches and dials and stuff). Once it gets hot, spray it with some nonstick cooking spray. Whack the can and separate out the rolls. Depending on the size of your waffle iron, put as many on as fit comfortably. Resist the urge to cram them all on there at once because you’re probably going to have to flip your rolls around. Since my waffle iron is hinged at the back, the stuff at the front of the plates doesn't get as much contact with the plates as the stuff in the back does. After 2 minutes or so, flip the rolls in the back over and swap them out with the ones in the front. Give them another couple of minutes to finish cooking and then carefully move them to a plate using tongs. Smear them with icing and put the next batch on.

Verdict

Unqualified success! I will never wait for my oven to heat up to have delicious cinnamon rolls.

Pigs in Blankets

Ingredients

Can of crescent rolls

Cocktail wieners

(I confess those are things I just happened to have in the fridge. I didn't buy them special for this)

How to Waffle It

While your waffle iron is heating up, whack open your can of crescent rolls and separate them out. Cut each one roughly in half. Roll up a cocktail wiener in each one. Don’t worry about neatness or getting them perfectly even. The waffle iron is a great equalizer when it squished them down. Space them out on your waffle iron so they have a little room on the sides. They cook pretty quickly, maybe 4 or 5 minutes. I experimented with putting small pieces of pepper jack cheese in some of them but I found they cheese got super-hot and leaked out so it wasn't discernible in the finished product. I need to experiment more with that. They screamed for a fancy dipping sauce but I was far too lazy and just served them with some ketchup and mustard.

Verdict

My taste tester declared these the BEST HING I MADE ALL WEEK! I agree, they were pretty tasty and adorable. If I ever got around to cleaning my house so I could have people over for an ironic cocktail party, I would totally serve these.

Donut French Toast

Ingredients

4 Glazed donuts (preferably a little stale)

2 eggs

2 Tbsp milk or half and half

Vanilla

Cinnamon

How to Waffle It

This one requires a little advanced prep.  Beat together the eggs, milk or half and half, vanilla, and cinnamon. I don’t measure seasonings so I can’t tell you exactly how much I used. Poke a bunch of holes in your donuts (enough for the eggs to get in but not so many they fall apart) and put them in a ziploc bag in the fridge for a while. How long is a while? That depends on how hungry you are. I think I left mine for about half an hour and they were fine. I wouldn't leave them in there too long or they will lose their structural integrity completely. Heat up your waffle iron and spray it down. When it’s hot, put as many donuts on as you can fit. After they've been on a minute or so, apply some gently pressure to the waffle iron to make sure the ones in front are making contact with the waffle iron. Because I’m paranoid about salmonella, I let these go for a while, maybe 5 or 6 minutes just to make sure they were cooked through. Just keep an eye on them because the sugar in the glaze can start to burn.

Verdict

Heaven. I've made donut bread pudding before but these had a caramelized layer of almost burnt sugar that formed a crust for the fluffy, gooey insides. No syrup or sugar of any kind needed on them. But I do recommend a side of something salty and porky to offset the sweetness. But honestly, what isn't better with a side of bacon?

Quesadilla

Ingredients

Flour tortillas (preferably a little bigger than your waffle iron)

Shredded Cheese

Salsa

Anything else you have lying around

How to Waffle It

This one is a no-brainer. Heat up your waffle iron, spray it down, slap down a tortilla, dump on the other stuff, add another tortilla on top, and close the waffle iron. I applied some pressure to try and flatten it out, which worked well for cheese distribution except I had some cheese oozing around the sides and onto the counter. When it’s the color you want, grab it with your tongs and carefully slide it onto a plate. Holding the plate right up the edge of the waffle iron helps to avoid more counter messes.

Verdict

Qualified success. I wasn't able to get the crispiness I like in a quesadilla but the insides were good and melty. The best part about a waffle quesadilla is you get really neat and even guidelines to cut perfect wedges. If you’re retentive like me, this is a huge bonus.

Hashbrowns

Ingredients

Frozen hashbrowns, right out of the bag

How to Waffle It

OK, this is even easier than the quesadilla. Heat up your waffler iron, spray it down, dump a bunch of frozen hashbrowns right out of the bag onto the waffle iron, and close the lid. That’s it. Wait for your desired level of brown and crispiness, slide them onto a plate, and salt liberally while still hot.

Verdict

Meh. I like super crispy hashbrowns and I was not able to achieve them. The top and bottom were almost burnt and the middle was still squishy. This is one thing I like better from a pan. That said, a nicer waffle iron with temperature controls might make crispy not burnt possible. Or, if you’re like my friend Pookie and you like squishy hashbrowns, this is perfect.

Sausage Cheese Biscuits

Ingredients

Can of biscuits

Cheese

Sausage (patties would be better but I did this with pieces of link sausage because that’s what was left over from breakfast)

How to Waffle It

Get your waffle iron heating up and sprayed down. Whack the can of biscuits and separate them out. Take a biscuit and split it in half. Cram some cheese and sausage into the biscuit and slap the other half on top. Carefully seal the edges all the way around. Repeat until you’re out of biscuits. I could only fit 3 on my waffle iron at a time and I did have to swap them front and back to get them evenly cooked.

Verdict

Blech. I’m not sure if it’s because I used low quality biscuits or if the flaky layered kind would have worked better (I used “buttermilk style) but these came out really tough and unappealing. I think the concept is sound but I need to play around with ingredients to see if I can make them more palatable.

All of my waffling was done with my little Sunbeam EasyClean waffle iron. True to its name, it was really easy to clean. Here’s a tip for cleaning if things get stuck on. While it’s still hot, UNPLUG IT! Soak a paper towel and wring it out. Stick in in the waffle iron and close it. Now just leave it. Let the steam loosen things up before you go in and wipe it out. That made even the crustiest cheese super easy to clean off.

Tired of scrambled eggs

Greek Diner Breakfast Pie

Every three weeks, I work until the wee hours of the morning and then go back in the next day for an all-day meeting. Dinner that night is a trip to the local Greek diner, where I always order the same thing: a spinach and feta omelet with home fries (extra crispy). This dish is an homage to that meal.

Ingredients:

·         3 cups frozen hash browns (thawed)

·         1/2 bag of frozen spinach

·         1 tbsp olive oil

·         1 tsp chopped garlic

·         pinch of dried oregano

·         salt and pepper to taste

·         1/2 cup of feta cheese crumbles

·         3 eggs

·         1/2 cup half and half (or milk)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 450. Spray a pie pan with cooking spray and spread the hash browns on the bottom and up the sides. Bake for 15-20 minutes until it gets brown and crispy.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a big frying pan over medium heat. Add the garlic, oregano, salt and pepper and cook until the garlic is starting to toast a little. Add the frozen spinach and coat with the olive oil. Cook it down until the spinach is warmed through and enough moisture has evaporated so it doesn’t look as wet anymore.

Beat the eggs and half and half together, adding a pinch of salt and pepper.

Take the crust out of the oven and reduce the heat to 350. Spread the spinach over the bottom of the crust and sprinkle the feta cheese crumbles over it. Pour the eggs over everything. Bake for 25-30 minutes until the eggs are set.

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Muffin of the Week

Tollhouse Cookie Muffins

These muffins taste best hot out of the oven. I like them best with mini chocolate chips because they stay suspended in the batter more evenly but if all you have are the regular sized ones, those will work fine too.  

Ingredients

• ½ cup milk
• ¼ cup melted butter
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp vanilla
• ½ cup packed brown sugar
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking powder
• ½ cup chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°
2. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and sugar
3. Add the vanilla, milk, and melted butter to the wet mixture and whisk well to make sure the sugar is dissolved
4. Put the remaining dry ingredients together in a larger bowl and whisk them together
5. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet stuff
6. Mix the batter gently just until the dry ingredients are moistened
7. Grease a muffin tin and divide the batter between the muffin cups
8. Bake the muffins for 20-25 minutes

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More Muffin Mania!

Banana Muffins

I expected these to taste like banana bread in muffin shape but they are much less dense. The same rule applies for bread though about ripeness. The riper the better, preferably a little overripe.

Ingredients

• ½ cup milk
• ¼ cup vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp vanilla
• ½ cup sugar
• 3 ripe bananas
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp  cinnamon

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°
2. In a small bowl, mash the bananas until they are very smooth
3. Whisk in the egg and sugar
4. Add the vanilla, milk, and oil to the wet mixture and whisk well to make sure the sugar is dissolved
5. Put the remaining dry ingredients together in a larger bowl and whisk them together
6. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet stuff
7. Mix the batter gently just until the dry ingredients are moistened
8. Grease a muffin tin and divide the batter between the muffin cups
9. Bake the muffins for 20-25 minutes

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Muffin Mania

What's the point of blogging if you don't overshare every once in a while. When I split up with my husband, I found myself with no outlet for my unhealthy and overwhelming urge to nurture. The obvious solution was something that came to be known as Mini Muffin Mania! For a few weeks, my coworkers were inundated with nearly daily muffin deliveries. When I became unexpectedly unemployed, muffins seemed like the perfect outlet for my neurotic energy. Starting with a basic blueberry muffin recipe from my trusty Betty Crocker Cookbook and the internet, Muffin Mania is back with a vengeance.

Muffin Basics

I played around with a bunch of muffin recipes and finally hit on a basic recipe that I can use as a base for whatever flavor combinations I come up with.  But no matter what recipe you use, the basic process is the same. Mix the wet ingredients in one bowl and the dry ones in another. The additional ingredients get added to one of the mixtures, depending on whether they are wet or dry.

Wet Ingredients

• ¾ cup milk
• ¼ cup vegetable oil
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp vanilla
• ½ cup sugar

1. In a small bowl, whisk the egg and sugar together
2. Add the vanilla, milk, and oil to the egg and sugar mixture and whisk well to make sure the sugar is dissolved

Dry Ingredients

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• ½ tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking powder

1. Put everything together in a larger bowl and whisk it together

Add-ins

• ½ cup tasty stuff

1. If the add-ins are wet (like shredded apple or zucchini) mix them to the wet ingredients
2. If they are really wet (like shredded apples) reduce the milk to ½ cup
3. If the add-ins are dry or self-contained (like frozen blueberries or chocolate chips), mix them into the dry ingredients
4. Coating them in the flour mixture will help keep them from sinking to the bottom of the muffins as they bake

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°
2. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet stuff
3. Mix the batter gently just until the dry ingredients are moistened
4. Don't overmix the batter! That will make your muffins dense and tough
5. Grease a muffin tin (I use non-stick spray) and divide the batter between the muffin cups
6. Bake the muffins:
7. For regular-sized muffins, bake 20-25 minutes
8. For mini muffins, bake for 15-20 minutes
9. For Texas-sized muffins, bake for 25-30 minutes

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Apple Carrot Muffins

Notes: You can sprinkle the tops of these muffins with cinnamon sugar before baking for even more cinnamony goodness.

Ingredients

• 1 medium apple, peeled and grated
• 1 carrot, grated
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp cinnamon

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400°
2. In a small bowl, beat the egg and mix in the milk, oil, sugar, vanilla until the sugar dissolves. Add the shredded carrot and apple to the liquid mixture.
3. In a larger bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon.
4. Make a well in the dry ingredients and add the liquid ingredients. Stir together just until everything is wet. Don't overmix it, the batter should be lumpy.
5. Divide the batter evenly into a greased muffin pan.
6. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

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Caramel Apple Donut Muffins

These muffins are insanely delicious. Be careful not to burn your fingers dredging the hot muffins in the butter and cinnamon sugar. I found that dipping them in the butter then dropping them into a large bowl with the cinnamon sugar and swirling them around go the most even coating.  

Muffin Batter

• 1 ¾ cup flour
• 1 ½ teaspoon baking powder
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¼ teaspoon nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon cinnamon
• ⅓ cup oil
• ¾ cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg
• ¾ cup milk

Apple Filling

• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 large apple
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 2 tbsp brown sugar

Cinnamon Sugar Topping

• ½ cup butter, melted
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tsp cinnamon

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°

First, get the filling going:

1. Melt the butter on medium heat
2. Cube the apple and add to the butter once it gets foamy
3. Sprinkle the sugar and the cinnamon over the apples and stir until everything is well mixed
4. Cut back the heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes

While the apples are cooking, put the batter together:

1. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon
2. In a separate, large bowl, combine oil, sugar, egg and milk
3. Add dry ingredients and stir only to combine

Now put it all together:

1. Coat your muffin pan well with nonstick cooking spray
2. Fill each muffin cup about a third of the way
3. Add apples to the middle of the batter, making sure there's room around the edges
4. Spoon batter into each muffin cup so it completely covers the apples
5. Don't worry about making it cover completely, the batter will spread out as it bakes but try and cover as much of the apple as you can
6. Bake for 15-20 minutes
7. Run a knife around the sides of the muffin and shake them out of the pan while still hot

Now the part that really makes them irresistible:

1. Melt the butter in a bowl
2. Mix the sugar with the cinnamon in another bowl
3. Dip muffins in butter, then into the cinnamon sugar
4. Let cool as long as you can resist them. 

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Chorizo for One

I was at the butcher the other day and got myself some chorizo. Then a week later I had a small stroke and decided to buy the jumbo package of chorizo at BJ's. Now I have a freezer full of chorizo. Luckily, it's tasty and relatively quick to prepare. Here are some of the things I've been doing with it.

Both these recipes make one serving. If you're cooking for more people, assume one sausage for each person.

NOTE: I'm talking about uncooked Mexican-style chorizo, not the cooked Spanish kind.

Chorizo Hash

This isn't so much a recipe, just a way to use some of your chorizo surplus and leftovers. When I made it this morning, I cut up some leftover French fries from 5 Guys.

Dice up some potatoes and add them to a preheated frying pan with some olive oil. Pour in a tablespoon or two of water and a little salt and pepper (how much salt you need depends on how salty your chorizo is). Put a lid on the pan. Meanwhile, remove the outer casing from chorizo. Once the water has evaporated form the pan, crumble the chorizo into the pan. Fry until the chorizo is cooked and the potatoes are a little crispy.

Herbed Chorizo and Garlic Grits

This recipe is loosely based on a really nice appetizer I helped a friend make at his Tapas-themed Christmas party last year.

Ingredients

• 1 chorizo, frozen
• 2 tbsp fresh herbs, chopped (I don't think it really matters what kind but I use thyme, rosemary, and oregano)
• Black pepper
• 1 tbsp sherry vinegar
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• Instant grits
• Salt
• Garlic powder

While the chorizo is still frozen, remove the outer casing and slice into ¼" to ½" slices. Add the olive oil to a frying pan over medium heat. Cook the chorizo until crispy. Add the fresh herbs and some black pepper. Take pan off the heat and splash in the vinegar.

Meanwhile, prepare the grits according to the instructions on the package and add garlic powder to taste. I always use chicken stock instead of water and add some garlic powder and black pepper to the stock while I'm bringing it up to a boil. Add salt based on how salty your stock is. Put the grits in a bowl and pour the chorizo on top. 

Thanksgiving Mania Begins

My family loves cranberries of all kinds at Thanksgiving. We always had to have both the whole berry kind and the kind that comes out shaped like a can. Actually, we have to have 2 cans of the jellied kind every year because once, in the 40 year history of my Thanksgivings, my mother forgot to get the jellied kind and ever since then, someone always brings an emergency, back-up can.

One year I decided to get all fancy and make the whole berry sauce from scratch, which is when I discovered that making cranberry sauce from scratch is idiot simple. So after the first year when I just used the recipe on the bag, I started playing with the recipe and this is what I make now.

Ingredients:

• 2 tangerines    
  
• ¾ cup sugar    
  
• 1-12 oz. package of fresh cranberries    
  
• 1 tbsp crystallized ginger
  

Directions:

Slice the crystallized ginger into thin strips. Zest the oranges and juice them. Add enough water to the orange juice to make 1 cup total. Add sugar, zest, ginger, and orange juice to a saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Cook it until it is the consistency you like. If you prefer your berries almost fresh, take it off the heat as soon as they pop (about 5 minutes.) if you like a much more jelly-like sauce, cook it down for 15. Pour the sauce into a bowl, let it cool down to room temperature and then refrigerate until Thanksgiving.

Notes:

The first year I made this, I got out my fancy zester and made the long, pretty orange zest curls. The flavor was great but a few members of my family mentioned that they didn't taste so great. So now I use my vegetable peeler and cut off big sheets at a time that are much easier to avoid biting into. If you are putting this sauce on a Thanksgiving table that strives to look like it came from the pages of Gourmet Magazine, go for the fancy curls. If your family is more into power eating than appearance, go for the big sheets of zest.

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A Lovely Bunch of… Cucumbers

It's summer in Baltimore which means an abundance of cucumbers. And when I have cucumbers, I think Greek food.

Chicken Souvlaki

Note: this recipe works just as well for pork or beef.

Ingredients:

• 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
  
• 1/2 cup plain yogurt
  
• 1 tbsp olive oil
  
• 1 tsp kosher salt
  
• 1 tsp course black pepper
  
• 1 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped
  
• 2 cloves garlic, smashed
  
• 1 lemon, zested and juiced
  

Directions:

Mix the yogurt, olive oil, lemon juice, lemon zest, garlic, salt, and pepper. Reserve 1/4 cup of the yogurt mixture in a separate bowl. Cut the chicken into 1" cubes and add to yogurt mixture. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours. Skewer chicken and brush with olive oil. Cook on a hot grill for 3 or 4 minutes per side. Brush the reserved marinade on the chicken after you flip them. Serve on grilled pita or naan with tzatziki sauce and feta cheese.

One thing I am not especially fond of is runny tzatziki so while I am draining the excess moisture from the cucumbers, I put my yogurt in a coffee filter in another strainer to drain out the excess whey.

Tzatziki Sauce

Note: Spring for the Greek yogurt. You can really taste the difference in this recipe.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (or 1 container) plain Greek yogurt
  
• 1 tbsp olive oil
  
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  
• 1 tsp course black pepper
  
• 1 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped
  
• 1 cloves garlic, pressed or minced very finely
  
• 1 medium to large cucumber
  

Directions:

On the largest side of a box grater, grate the cucumber. Sprinkle with salt and place in a colander or strainer for at least half an hour to drain the excess water. Mix the yogurt, olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic. Add shredded cucumber and refrigerate for at least half an hour.

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Howard County Shopping Odyssey

I set out this afternoon to fill a prescription and ended up with a bag of empanadas, and that's why I love Howard County. I walked into the Target at Long Gate and was immediately greeted with good news.

The idea of being able to get my Target shopping and grocery shopping done all at once is something I have been looking forward to for a very long time. While I was waiting for my prescription, I was wandering the aisles (always dangerous) and remembered that I needed a new 12" frying pan. But I was disappointed in what I found at Target, nothing seemed to be decent enough quality to justify the price. So after I finished at the pharmacy, I headed down Route 1 to see what I could find at Sysco, the restaurant supply store.

Too bad I forgot they close early on Saturday and it was almost 4pm. But since I was there, I decided to wander through the flea market and maybe grab something to eat. Sadly, the flea market was closing up too with most of the stalls already covered in tarps and the food court in the process of shutting down, watched over by My Little Militia Melanie.

Since we were already on Route 1 and had run out of coffee this morning, we headed over to MOM's to grab a bag of Zeke's but when we got

there, we realized we were far too hungry to go inside a grocery store so we headed around the corner to Pollo Fuego to eat our body weight in plantains and some chicken too. Stuffed full of Peruvian poultry goodness, we were able to get out of MOM's with just the bare necessities; coffee, half and half, and garlic powder.

As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I remembered reading on HowChow that the Latin market across the street sold frozen empanadas. I haven't had a decent empanada since Produce Galore went out of business so I have been eager to get over there. I wandered around, looking through all the freezer cases but no empanadas. I resigned myself to the terrible fate of buying fresh-baked empanadas and having to eat them immediately and ordered a bunch from the really friendly employee at the counter. I asked her about the frozen ones and she explained they keep them in the back, you just have to ask. Good to know for next time. I got the chicken, beef, ham and cheese, and spinach flavor so I will know which ones to stock the freezer with.

Bonus: they had a flavor of Goya soda I had never seen before.It smells like Worchester sauce but it really does taste like carbonated sangria, which is to say it tastes really good.

Remembrance of Restaurants Past

I finally made it to Bon Fresco and while enjoying an excellent Italian sandwich I couldn't help but think of my favorite sandwich of all time, The Giacomo, from the now closed Italian grocery and deli Giacomo's that used to be back by T-Bonz in Ellicott City. I've tried to reproduce this sandwich at home but somehow I never get it right. It's a combination of Italian deli meats (prosciutto and salami and something else), a layer of ricotta, and sliced green olives on focaccia. The first time I went there, I made the mistake of commenting out loud how odd that sandwich sounded and the owner convinced me to give it a try, promising if it wasn't the best sandwich I ever ate, he would give me any other sandwich on the menu for free the next time I came in. I never got to take him up on that because I never ordered any other sandwich.

That got me to thinking about other dishes I loved at restaurants that are now history. Back in the late 80s, there was a restaurant downtown called Café Park Plaza. They had a dish on the menu called Shrimp Angel that was basically a bowl of garlic and wine sauce with big shrimps in it. It may have been an appetizer and that was all to it. It might have been an entrée and come with pasta. I really don't remember because I always ate it the same way; scooped up with big hunks of fresh bread. I couldn't name one other thing they had on the menu and we ate there at least once a month for over a year.

Right down the street from Café Park Plaza was another icon in the Baltimore restaurant scene in the 80s, Gampy's. Now you can get a Monte Cristo sandwich at just about any diner but I have never found one that compares to my memory of theirs. Ham, cheese, fried, jam on the side; perfection. I think they put crack in it. There's no other explanation for what made it so good.

Then there were the kosher dogs and western fries at the Homewood Deli in Charles Village. Royal Farm Stores western fries come close but always seem to fall just a little short of my memory. There was a bakery that shared space with the deli that made the most amazing pinwheel cookies. I think I have tried at least a dozen pinwheel cookie recipes and none taste like those did. I can't seem to get them as flat and dense. Mine always puff up too much.

Of all the food you've eaten that is now gone forever, what do you miss the most?

NOTE: Recipes will return when Baltimore is no longer hotter than the surface of the sun and it's cool enough to cook again in my little house without air conditioning.

I love it when a plan comes together

It is finally grilling weather again and I had some fabulous skirt steaks from Treuth's waiting for accompaniments. Poking through the fridge, I found some Anaheim peppers, some jalapenos, and some leftover rice and a plan started to come together. I knew I wanted to stuff the Anaheim's with cheese grits but I wanted to use the jalapenos too and that rice was nearing the end of its shelf life. A quick check through the pantry revealed a can of black-eyed peas and I knew what I had.

Hoppin' Juan

Ingredients:

• 1 can of Black-eyed Peas
  
• 1 cup cooked rice
  
• 2 jalapenos
  
• 1 tsp chopped garlic
  
• 1 tbsp olive oil
  
• 1 tsp chili powder
  
• 1 tsp ground cumin
  
• 1 tbsp lime juice
  

Directions:

Drain and rinse the black-eyed peas and let them continue to drain in a colander while you heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Mince the jalapenos. When the oil is hot, sauté the jalapenos until they have some char. Add the garlic, chili powder, and a pinch of salt. Once the garlic is warmed through, add the black-eyed peas and rice. Mix thoroughly and add salt to taste. Just before serving, add the lime juice and toss again.

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My best friend's dip

Tomorrow is the first annual QA Chili Cook-Off at ZeniMax Online Studios. While I am confident my chili will take first prize, I'm not above stacking the deck a little and bringing along my friend Roz's famous salsa dip. She makes this dip every time we come over to watch the Ravens play. We have an unspoken agreement that we won't come over unless there's dip.

This recipe is an approximation of her recipe. I've seen her make it countless times but for some reason, hers is always better.

Roz's Salsa Dip

Ingredients

• 8 oz. package of cream cheese
  
• 1 tbsp chopped pickled jalapenos
  
• 1 tsp pickled jalapeno juice
  
• 3 tbsp salsa
  
• 1 tsp chili powder
  
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  

Directions

Soften the cream cheese on the counter for 10 minutes. Dump all the ingredients except for the shredded cheese in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Add the cheese and stir together. Chill for half an hour before serving.

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I fail as a Baltimore foodie!

After I heard the sad news that venerable Baltimore Sun food critic Elizabeth Large is retiring, I realized it has been a while since I read her blog. I stumbled across a post where she asked her readers to come up with a list of 100 Things every Baltimore Foodie Must Do. Having lived my entire life here, I figured I would ace it. I have a lot of work to do.

1. Have a jumbo lump crab cake from Faidley's on a Saltine.
   
2. Pick steamed hard shells at Mr. Bill's Terrace Inn in Essex.
   
   1. I give myself credit for Whitey and Dot's
      
3. Eat Bertha's mussels.
   
4. Drink a Natty Boh.
   
5. Snack on a Berger's cookie.
   
6. Put marshmallow on your snowball.
   
   1. This really should be an Egg Custard snowball with marshmallow to count. Either way, I'm good.
      
7. Split Maryland beaten biscuits and put some thin slices of ham in them.
   
8. Serve sauerkraut with your turkey.
   
9. Get a chicken box (fried wings, western fries, dinner roll) from a Baltimore City public market.
   
   1. or Royal Farm Store
      
10. Maybe the chicken box should be from Tyrone's?
    
11. Lake trout. And for those of us who watched "The Wire," have a grape soda with it.
    
12. Breakfast at Blue Moon Cafe down in Fells Point.
    
    1. Personally, I think breakfast at the Paper Moon in Remington should count.
       
13. Corned beef on rye at Attman's.
    
    1. I am giving myself credit for roast beef because corned beef violates my rule of never eating anything that was intentionally rotted before I ate it.
       
14. Chiapparelli's house salad.
    
    1. I think that's all I ate my junior year of high school.
       
15. Knock back a goblet of Resurrection Ale at Brewer's Art.
    
16. Take a Sunday morning stroll through the JFX Farmer's Market.
    
17. Thrasher's french fries from the boardwalk in Ocean City.
    
18. Have a Black Eyed Susan at the Preakness.
    
    1. I have issues with horse racing so I will never go to Preakness but I have had a Black Eyed Susan at a bar while the Preakness is on TV
       
    2. I also give myself credit for this because I can't hear "Black Eyed Susan" without thinking of Kirk McEwen asking for a Black Guy, Susan
       
19. Chow down on a pit beef sandwich at Boog's during an O's game.
    
20. Shop for shoes and chocolate at Ma Petit Shoe in Hampden.
    
    1. I assume any store called Petite Show doesn't carry shoes to fir my size 11W gunboats so I have never gone in
       
21. Have a soft crab sandwich on white bread.
    
    1. I am a lifelong hometown girl and soft shell crabs still creep me out
       
22. Eat a box of Rheb's buttercreams. Not at one sitting, of course ... on the other hand, why not?
    
    1. Why would I eat a box of Rheb's butter creams when I could eat a box of Rheb's assorted caramels?
       
23. Order a Tio Pepe sangria (red). It contains fruit, so it counts as food!
    
24. Polish sausage from one of the two Ostrowski shops.
    
    1. Does buying Ostrowski sausage regularly from Mars Supermarket count?
       
25. German sausage from Binkert's
    
26. Fisher's popcorn downy ocean, hon!
    
    1. I am deeply insulted by this one because we are a Dolle's family but I am giving myself credit anyway
       
27. Sunday brunch on the terrace at Ambassador Dining Room, an atypical setting for an Indian restaurant.
    
    1. I should get double credit for this one because I used to eat Sunday Dinner at the Ambassador Dining Room when it still WAS the Ambassador Dining Room. It's a much better restaurant now.
       
28. Get peach cake from Woodlea Bakery.
    
29. Eat the pumpkin appetizer at the Helmand.
    
30. Eat a Wockenfuss caramel apple! Mmmmm.
    
31. Thin crust pizza! Iggies and Joe Squared.
    
32. Savory muffins at Red Canoe in Lauraville.
    
33. Try some of the special flavors from Taharka Bros. (formerly Sylvan Beach) ice cream and Pitango Gelato.
    
34. Make fun of the hipsters at Golden West and Rocket to Venus in Hampden.
    
35. Have a special occasion dinner at Charleston. Ask Chef Cindy Wolf to fix what she thinks is best that night.
    
36. Change your mind about vegan/vegetarian food at Liquid Earth.
    
    1. I have no idea where Liquid Earth is but I had the same revelation at Great Sage in Clarksville. It counts.
       
37. Try the charcuterie at Clementine.
    
38. Macaroni and cheese with bittersweet chocolate from Jack's Bistro.
    
39. Throw in a shrimp salad from Kibby's and/or Mary Mervis.
    
40. Smith Island Cake, but only from Sugarbakers.
    
41. Gorge yourself on the Monday night all-you-can-eat at Vaccaro's.
    
42. Discuss a bottle of wine with Tony Foreman at Cinghiale.
    
43. Eat roasted vegetables at Donna's ... wearing black.
    
44. Veal Chop at Da Mimmo.
    
45. Bookmaker salad at Sabatino's.
    
46. Get a crab cake and a lemon/peppermint stick at the Flower Mart. Isn't a fabulous crab cake, but even an average crab cake in Baltimore is better than anywhere else!
    
47. Order any sandwich at Trinacria. But no calling ahead to order like I do. You must wait in line for the full effect.
    
48. Order the popcorn and deviled eggs at Woodberry Kitchen. Before your appetizers, not in lieu of.
    
49. Have lunch on the patio at Sanders Corner overlooking the Loch Raven Reservoir.
    
50. Head to Carroll County for the best cream of crab soup at Smokey's BBQ on Liberty Road.
    
51. Stop at DiPasquale's in Highlandtown for their Italian and meatball subs.
    
52. Fried chicken livers from the Lexington Market.
    
    1. Ewww. I watched my mother eat these for years. Not on a bet.
       
53. Bagel with lox and cream cheese or apricot spread from Greg's.
    
54. Sit at the bar at Cinghiale and order anything. Talk to Rob about wine when Tony isn't in town.
    
55. Tamales from the food truck on Broadway.
    
56. Coddies on a cracker from a rowhouse bar.
    
57. Wander aisles of exotic produce - lychees! jackfruit! Indian eggplant! - at H Mart or Lotte Plaza in Catonsville. Eat some yummy bi bim bap or udon soup at the food court and then pick up a beautiful fresh whole fish for dinner before you head home.
    
58. Go to a bull/oyster roast or crab/shrimp feast at any number of Baltimore venues as long as you go to at least one at a V.F.W. hall, American Legion, Steelworkers Hall, fire hall, state park, etc.
    
59. Prime rib at the Prime Rib.
    
60. Greenberg Potato Skins from Prime Rib.
    
61. How about the fried green pepper rings at Gunnings!
    
62. You have to get a Popular Mozzarella Pie from Matthew's Pizza!
    
63. A baloney-wrapped hot dog from Attman's.
    
64. Pit beef from anywhere without a door.
    
65. Late night dinner at the Bel-Loc Diner.
    
66. Eat a "Tour of Samos" at Samos in Greektown (Greek salad, tzatziki and pita, kalamari, spinach pie, chicken souvlaki, dolmades, lamb chops, garlic shrimp, gyro, roasted potatoes).
    
    1. I've eaten all of that many times over at Ikaros.
       
67. Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding at Ale Mary's
    
68. Eat anything on the menu at Andy Nelson's.
    
69. Gravy fries.
    
70. Chicken salad from Graul's Market!
    
71. Old-fashioned Maryland stuffed ham.
    
72. OTTERBEIN'S COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!
    
73. Raw beef and onion sandwich with raw yellow onion and salt and pepper on fresh rye bread (or pumpernickel).
    
    1. This also falls in the "I can't believe my mother eats that" category.
       
74. Buy a crepe at Sofi's and enjoy it while watching a movie at the Charles.
    
75. Naron candy.
    
76. Polish dog with "the works" at Polock Johnny's.
    
    1. Not quite "the works"…
       
77. Italian cold cut sub at Pastore's in Towson.
    
78. WOCKENFUSS CANDIES!!!!!!!!!!
    
79. Order the chocolate-chili bread pudding at the Blue Agave.
    
80. Have a picnic at Fort McHenry.
    
81. Any sandwich from Eddie's in Roland Park.
    
82. String bean rolls at Cafe Zen.
    
83. Garlic fries at Brewer's Art.
    
84. Oysters and beer at Cross Street Market!
    
85. Coffee from Zeke's.
    
86. Smoked platter from Neopol at Belvedere.
    
87. Go to the Wine Market on a Monday night and enjoy a neighborhood discount (extended to all diners).
    
88. Have an ice cream that contains vegetables at Dominion Ice Cream. [Ed.'s note: Now relocated to Hampden.]
    
89. Have Old Bay on things other than seafood. For instance, corn on the cob, potato salad, coleslaw.
    
    1. I rolled goat cheese in Old Bay last night. I wouldn't make chicken salad without it.
       
90. Margarita in a hubcap from Nacho Mama's.
    
91. Take the Clipper City brewery tour.
    
92. Have a Black Eyed Susan cupcake at Charm City Cupcakes. It's one of my favorite things about Baltimore!
    
93. Get fruit and veggies from an a-rab.
    
94. Sip 'n Bite.
    
95. Sip a Bloody Mary with an Old Bay rimmer. I only see this done at Baltimore restaurants.
    
96. Enjoy a meal at Salt.
    
97. Eat the Berger cookie pie at Dangerously Delicious Pies in Federal Hill. A new tradition built on the old.
    
    1. I can't believe I never had this pie. I feel sad.
       
98. Mary Sue Easter Eggs.
    
99. Eat sushi in Towson.
    
100. Wiener schnitzel, red cabbage, and more at Eichenkranz in Highlandtown. The last traditional German food in the city.
     

Baconny Bacon!

I love bacon. I am eternally grateful that I was born and raised in a religion that doesn't forbid the eating of pork because I am fairly certain I would feel a gaping hole in my life where it's salty, greasy goodness should be. When the weather people started predicting apocalyptic amounts of snow recently, the first thing I did was open the freezer and check my bacon supply. I counted 6 different kinds so I figured I just might survive. OK, I confess, it's not so much 6 kinds of bacon as bacon from 6 different sources but each has its own distinct personality.

Double Smoked Bacon from Smokehouse of the Catskills in Saugerties, NY

If I could have only one bacon for the rest of my life, this would be it. Their bacon is so meaty and delicious; it's like eating a piece of pork. It is also an excellent base for any recipe that starts with bacon. My oldest and dearest friend lives in Saugerties. I claim to go visit her a couple of times a year but in reality, I sleep at her house when I go up to get bacon. Luckily, she knows this and understands completely. When she came down for Christmas, she gave me 2 lbs of bacon. I gave her 2 packages of Berger's Cookies. There is a reason we have been friends for 30 years.

Farmer's Market/Butcher Bacon

Unfortunately, the best farmer's market in my neighborhood is n Wednesday afternoon. My boss is unsympathetic to my requests to take the afternoon off to see if there's anything good at the market this week. Fortunately, I work right down the street from a Pennsylvania Dutch Market so every Thursday or Friday, I can pop by and pick up some Amish country bacon.

Thanks to Baltimore Magazine's "2009 Best of" edition, I finally have a butcher. It's no Smokehouse of the Catskills but J. W. Treuth & Sons in Oella comes pretty close. The upside to picking up bacon at a butcher is you can also grab some real ground beef while you are there. Treuth's is so full service they even have an excellent cheddar most days. If only they had hamburger buns and fries, it would be a one-stop shopping experience for one of my favorite dinners.

I have been addicted to Top Chef on Bravo since the first season so when I found myself in the Quarry Lake shopping center with a Fresh Market, I had to check it out. I'm not sure I would want to try and find the ingredients to cater an entire wedding that night in there but they do have Nueske's Applewood Smoked Bacon. Charles Kimball and his merry band of taste testers in America's Test Kitchen rated Nueske's really poorly but can you really trust a guy who cooks in a bowtie? Personally, I love Nueske's.

Supermarket Bacon

Let's face it, sometimes you can't get to the farmer's market, the butcher, or Upstate NY and you have to buy bacon at the grocery store. I keep an eye out for sales on the premium, center cut stuff and stock up the freezer. There are also certain recipes that just work better with grocery store bacon, especially ones that require crumbled bacon like Cheese and Bacon Crackers. The meaty quality of really good bacon actually works against you in that case.

So you see, having 6 kinds of bacon makes perfect sense.

My Very First Chicken and Dumplings

I am lucky enough to work in an office with a cafeteria on site. Even luckier, we have a real chef in the kitchen. Besides the salads and sandwiches, we get three hot entrees every day that are always good but sometimes are outstanding. Case in point, one day Becca made Chicken and Dumplings. My experience with dumplings in the past has been dough lumps roughly the density of a hockey puck floating in industrial gravy. The last time I had them was at IKEA and the sign did not lie. Not these here we had light, fluffy clouds of dough floating in a clear chicken broth. I was in love.

I told Becca how great they were and she claimed they were really easy to make. I did not believe her but she swore up and down. She gave me her recipe and I decided to give it a shot. True to her word, they were really easy! Unfortunately, her recipe also made enough for an army and I only feed two people at a time. After a couple of tries, I got it down to a reasonable portion for the two of us and made some other alterations to arrive at my very own dumpling recipe.

This recipe is an excellent way to use up a rotisserie chicken. Strip off the meat to put in the soup and use the carcass to make the stock. Leftover vegetables also work really well in the soup.

Ingredients

• 2-3 cups chicken stock
  
• ½ cup flour
  
• ¾ tsp baking powder
  
• 2 ½ tbsp cornmeal
  
• 1 tsp sugar
  
• ½ tsp salt
  
• ¼ tsp dried thyme
  
• ¼ tsp dried sage
  
• ½ cup milk or cream
  
• Cut up chicken
  
• Soup vegetables, to taste
  

Directions

Make a pot of home-made stock and get it simmering on the stove in the widest pot you have. Cut up some cooked chicken and throw in whatever soup vegetables you like. If you aren't using leftover vegetables, you might want to throw them in a sauté pan with a little olive oil just to soften them up before you add them to the soup.

Mix the dry ingredients together well. Add the milk or cream and mix just until the dry ingredients are incorporated.

If you have never made dumplings before, this is the point when you will think you have misread the recipe because you have a loose, gloppy mess. If that's what you have, you made it right.

With 2 large spoons, drop spoonfuls into the simmering broth, leaving a little space between each one. Put the lid on and leave it on for 12 minutes. No peeking!

Scoop the dumplings, chicken, and vegetables into bowls and cover with broth to serve.

Printable version

After the bacon and scones were done, I needed an excuse to keep the oven going to keep the house warm during SNOWPOCALYPSE X! so I rummaged around the fridge to see what I could braise. I came across a half a chuck steak I bought during last weekend's paltry 3" snow event and never got around to cooking so I figured it was time for some lazy tamales.

When I was growing up, my grandparents lived in San Antonio, TX. Way back in medieval times (the late 70s and early 80s) there was no Mexican food in Baltimore. The closest Mexican restaurant was in Rockville and we happily drove an hour to get there whenever we could, which was not often enough. Whenever we visited them, we ate Mexican food nonstop the entire trip. Now, I won't claim that I had the most adventurous palate as a 6-year old but I did appreciate the original Mexican Kid's Meal, the tamale.

But when we got home, it was back to reality. We had to make do with the Mexican food we could cook at home with the ingredients we lugged home in an extra suitcase that arrived in Texas empty and we filled to bursting after a couple of trips to the Piggly Wiggly and the H.E.B. Sure, we always brought home a couple of jars of Derby Tamales (made right there in San Antonio) but they never lasted long and soon I was left with just the memory of shredded meat inside a protective, steamed corn coating.

To this day, tamales make me happy. They are my #1 go to choice in any Mexican restaurant. I prefer fresh ones but I have been known to stoop so low as to eat the nasty canned ones with the paper wrappers out of total desperation. Mexican food may be available in every strip mall, but a good Texas tamale, even frozen, is not easy to find.

So why not make your own? you ask, quite reasonably. The answer is simple. I am lazy. I hate making fussy things that require me to make endless, individual portions. I like one pot dishes. One of these days I will gather my family to me and make the Christmas Eve tamale feast but until that time, I make do.

This recipe is very flexible. I've only done it with chuck steak but I am guessing any crappy, tough cut of beef would work. I actually paid attention to the amounts of spices I used today because I wanted to finally write this recipe down but in all honesty, I never measure. I just chuck a bunch of spices in the pot until it smells right.

When you get done with this, you will have a ton of leftover sauce. This is a Good Thing™. It is perfect for enchiladas. Head over to Lily's Market and get yourself some fresh corn tortillas, shred some cheddar, roll them up, and you've got another of my favorite childhood memories, Cheese Enchiladas (no onions, please).

Mmmmmm. If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine I am back at La Fonda on Broadway.

Lazy Tamales

Ingredients

• 3-5 lb chuck steak
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 medium or ½ large onion
• Half head of garlic
• 4 dried chili peppers (your preference)
• 3 Tbsp chili powder
• 3 Tbsp ground cumin
• 1 Tsp salt
• Water
• Grits (instant, quick, or slow – whatever you prefer)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325°. Heat the olive oil in a 3 or 4 quart oven-safe dutch oven. Sear the chuck steak in the olive oil. Peel and quarter the onion and peel the garlic. Cut open the dried chili peppers and remove the seeds. Add the onion, garlic, chili peppers, chili powder, cumin, and salt to the pot and add enough water to cover everything. Bring to a simmer. Put a lid on the pot and put it in the oven for 3 hours.

When the meat is tender enough to fork apart, remove the meat from the pot. Strain the solids from the liquids and return the liquid to the pot. Carefully pick the chili peppers out of the solids you strained out and return them to the pot. Using a hand blender, puree the chili peppers in the sauce. (I assume you could do this with a regular blender or a food processor but mine are never handy when I need them.) Put the pot back on the stove and reduce the sauce until it has thickened significantly (at least half an hour). Add more salt to the sauce to taste but only after it has reduced.

Meanwhile, make some grits according to the directions on the package. I like to make cheese grits for this dish but any old grits will do.

Shred the beef using 2 forks. Put 3 or 4 tablespoons of sauce in a small sauté pan and add the shredded beef, just to warm it through. Serve beef over grits with sauce spooned over it.

Printable version

What are your snow day essentials?

Now that SNOWPOCALYPSE '10! has officially started, I got to thinking about snow day food. As a life-long Maryland resident, I am required by law to run to the nearest grocery store to stock up on the snow essentials (milk, bread, and toilet paper for the uninitiated) as soon as the S word appears in the forecast but I try not to imagine the scenario that requires surplus amounts of those three items. When snow comes, I have my own list of essentials.

Snow days require cinnamon rolls. Not fancy bakery ones, the kind that come in a tube in the refrigerator section of the grocery store with a can of white, oozy stuff substance in the end. Yes, I can make yeast bread from scratch now but not before coffee. This storm I am trying something new, refrigerator scones from The Immaculate Baking Company. I like scones and I had a coupon so I am hopeful they will be an adequate substitute. I have plenty of powdered sugar in the house (I've got milk of course) so I will be making my own white oozy stuff.

Snow days also require bacon. In all honesty, days of the week that end in Y call for bacon in my book but a snow day especially needs that porky, salty manna. Aside from its life-sustaining properties, bacon also helps warm up the house on chilly mornings ever since I discovered the wonders of making bacon in the oven. I used to slave over a hot, sputtering pan of bacon, making batch after batch because I didn't have a pan or a burner big enough to make more than 5 or 6 strips at a time. No more!

The key to great oven bacon is the combination of a half sheet pan with a rim and an oven-proof baking rack. I got my first half sheet pan from K-Mart from the Martha Stewart line but then my K-Mart closed and now I get them from Sysco, the restaurant supply store on Rt. 1 in Elkridge. The oven-proof racks were a lot harder to find. All the ones I got as wedding presents were lovely with little rubber feet to keep them from slipping on the counter. Unfortunately, they also kept me from putting them in the oven. I searched kitchen supply stores and catalogs. Then when I was just about ready to give up and order something really expensive on the internet, I spotted these at Target. They fit in a half sheet pan perfectly.

The other great thing about oven bacon is that it's very flexible about temperature. You can throw it in at whatever temperature the cinnamon rolls, apple oven pancake (recipe coming soon), or frittata is already in there. The hotter the oven, the faster it will cook but the final product won't suffer from being in there longer at a lower temperature.

Oven-baked Bacon

Ingredients

• Bacon
  
• Non-stick spray (Pam)
  

Directions

Preheat oven to 350-450°. Put the oven-safe rack in the half sheet pan. Coat the rack liberally with non-stick spray. Lay the bacon out so it covers the whole rack. It can overlap a little but it won't shrink nearly as much as bacon cooked on the stovetop. Depending on the oven temperature and how well done you like your bacon, bake for 15-25 minutes.

Taking Stock

Before I start talking about homemade stock, let me first say that I have store-bought stock in my pantry. A lot of it. Mostly, it's the little juice box-sized containers of stock. Not only do they taste better than the canned stuff but they are also the perfect size for most weeknight recipes. I am not a stock snob.

That said, the stock in my pantry is just back up. Most of the time, I cook with the homemade chicken stock in the fridge. Making stock shouldn't be production. Once you get into the habit, it can become just another part of your cooking routine. Here's what you need:

• Chicken bones
  
• Water
  

Everything else is a bonus. Aromatics – garlic, onions, carrots, and celery all help but in a pinch you can live without any or all of them. Thanks to my deck garden, I always have fresh herbs in the summer. In the dead of winter, I have dried. They work just fine.

I buy a rotisserie chicken pretty much every week. It's a staple in my "Oh crap, what am I making for dinner tonight" repertoire. As I eat it, I throw the bones in a bag in the freezer. And as I cook, I save all the ends from the onions, carrots, and celery (save the leafy parts, they taste great) that I cut off and throw them in another bag in the freezer. If I use fresh herbs like thyme, I save the stems. See a pattern here? Then on Sunday afternoon, I pull out the bags and see what I have got.

The curse of the cloudy stock

I have a stack of cookbooks with dire predictions like, "you have to skim off the scum every 15 minutes or it will be cloudy" and "never let stock come to a full boil or it will be cloudy." Whatever. I suppose if I were making a soup for a fancy dinner party, I would care more about the relative transparency of my stock but most of the time I am using it to make gravy or grits or something else opaque that really won't suffer from dreaded cloudiness. Screw the rules. Throw everything in the pot and walk away.

NOTE: I have tried making stock in my crock pot. I did achieve perfectly clear stock that tasted good but it was totally liquid. Yes, I realize by nature, stock is a liquid but this is what separates the homemade stuff from the stuff in the pantry. When you boil bones, the collagen comes out. The longer you boil it, the more collagen you get. Let it go long enough, you get chicken jell-o. It sounds disgusting but when you use it to make gravy or sauce, you have a built in thickening booster. But if your goal is perfect clear stock, chuck everything in your crock pot, set it to high, and walk away for six hours.

Chicken Stock

Ingredients

• Chicken carcass – skin and edible meat removed
  
• 1-2 carrots (depending on how many ends you have)
  
• 1 medium onion (plus ends/skins)
  
• 1-2 stalks of celery
  
• 3-4 cloves of garlic
  
• Herbs – I like thyme and sage, but use what you like
  
• A handful of peppercorns (~12)
  
• Dash of salt
  
• Water
  

Directions

Break or cut the main part of the chicken into a couple of pieces. Put the chicken bones in a 3-4 quart pot on the stove and crank the heat up to medium high. I like to brown the bones up a little but this step is totally unnecessary. Cut up the carrots, onions, and celery so they fit in the pot. Smash the garlic cloves. Throw them in the hot pot. Throw in the herbs, salt, and pepper. Pour in enough water to cover everything. Let it come up to a simmer and then turn the heat down low. Now walk away and let it go, for a couple of hours if you can. The longer you let it go, the better it will taste. Strain out all the bones and veggies and peppercorns. Cool and store in the fridge. It's easier to scrape the fat off once it's been in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Tastes just like chicken

Since the economy tanked and our income halved itself, our insane habit of eating 2 or 3 meals out a day, every day, has come to an end but I am still completely unmotivated to actually "cook" anything during the week. What's a girl to do? Buy a rotisserie chicken, of course! It is amazing what you can do with a whole chicken. I thought about buying one of those "101 things to do with a rotisserie chicken" cookbooks but I still haven't run out of ideas. Here are just a few of the things I have made lately:

1. Pulled BBQ Chicken Sandwiches
   
   1. Strip all the meat off the chicken and throw it in a pan with some BBQ sauce. Heat it up and slap it on hamburger buns. Or hot dog buns. Or leftover naan…
      
   2. This is an excellent way to disguise dark meat from people who claim they don't like it.
      
2. Chicken Tetrazzini
   
   1. Sauté some mushrooms, make a béchamel, boil whatever pasta you have, mix it all together in a baking dish with whatever chicken you picked off the carcass, slap some breadcrumbs on the top and you've got casserole heaven.
      
3. Chicken Chana Masala
   
   1. An international "can of this, can of that" recipe. Rinse a can of chickpeas and chuck it in a pan. Throw in a can of diced or stewed tomatoes. Add a bunch of your favorite Indian spices (I love Penzey's Rogan Josh Seasoning) and a bunch of cut up chicken. Let it sauté until the tomatoes break down a little.
      
   2. I once found myself completely out of chickpeas and made this with a can of black-eyed peas instead. Still terrific.
      
4. Greek Cous Cous Pilaf
   
   1. This one is based on having some leftover grilled veggies in the fridge also. It originated with some excellent grilled zucchini I made when it was at its peak one summer. Make a pot of cous cous (I like whole wheat cous cous because I can pretend it is healthy) with chicken stock and a little lemon juice. Let the cous cous cool a little and throw in the grilled veggies, cut up chicken, and some chunks of feta cheese.
      
   2. I make boatloads of this in the summer and eat it right out of the Gladware every night until it is gone.
      
5. Quinoa Pilaf
   
   1. This is a variation on the cous cous recipe I had to invent because my husband hates cous cous. Last time I made it, I had half a bag of spinach that was on its last legs so I chopped that up and threw it in the hot quinoa as soon as I pulled it off the stove, along with the feta cheese and chicken. Quinoa's good but nothing beats cous cous for its 5-minute prep time.
      
6. Chicken Pot Pies
   
   1. My tiny kit house has no central AC. The oven goes off as of Mother's Day and does not come back on until Halloween. The official Halloween meal is idiot chicken pot pies.
      
   2. Unroll a sheet of pie crust and cut it in quarters. Shove each quarter into a muffin tin, leaving the excess hanging out. Add some cut up chicken and some frozen veggies. Pour in chicken gravy (the kind in a jar will work) and then fold over the excess. It so doesn't have to be anything close to perfect. Bake then until they are done.
      
7. Quiche
   
   1. My quiche recipe is as follows:
      
      1. 4 eggs
         
      2. 1.5 cups of some combination of milk and half and half
         
      3. 1 cup or so of the cheese that needs to be eaten most urgently
         
      4. Whatever leftover vegetable matter is in the fridge and is about to go bad
         
      5. Whatever leftover protein is in the fridge and is about to go bad
         
   2. This week we are having Chicken and Mushroom quiche with a combination of smoked mozzarella, fontina, and something else I didn't remember buying but was pretty tasty
      
8. The most holy sacrament in chickentarianism is not to waste any part of the chicken. Every Sunday night, no matter what I make, The bones get broken up and thrown in a pot with whatever aromatics I happen to have and some salt and pepper to make a fresh batch of stock. Of all the great things you can make with a rotisserie chicken, great stock is one of the best. Don't forget to scrape in the chicken jelly from the bottom of the container!